BURNABY, B.C. (CUP) — Tensions remain high in Burnaby, B.C. as three young men continue one of the longest chore standoffs in the history of their apartment complex.
The conflict began in the wake of a Halloween party hosted by the trio and has resulted in a complete avoidance of cleanliness not seen since the series premiere of Hoarders.
In September 2011, Redeemer University College will be offering a women’s studies course (SOC 123), which focuses on culinary skills, party planning, and motherhood.
It’s been long awaited, but Stephen Harper’s new music video has finally been released. His song titled “PM truths” is a contemporary pop, rap mix and critics claim it will be number one within the week.
“This is the kind of music we’ve been waiting for. It’s authentic and political. The fans just love it!” raves Jack Layton. Although he is an opposition leader of Harper, Layton cannot deny the catchy tune of “PM truths”.
As many of you may have noticed (and may have previously read about in an earlier issue of The Crown) emergency phone towers have been installed around campus. But why? Redeemer is fairly safe isn’t it? Apparently not. In-depth investigating has revealed the gap in Redeemer’s security. You may have noticed in the Time Out that Security is pushing the Walk-Safe Program. I know why. It’s for fourth year guys.
Redeemer is known for two things: people leave married or engaged, and there are far more girls than guys. How is this reconciled?
With the coming of spring comes a season of change. Out with the old, in with the new, yada yada yada. But what if this spring or a spring in the future brings something REALLY new? What if, as you are enjoying the sunshine in your backyard, aliens arrive on earth, in your country, in your neighbourhood, in YOUR backyard? What are you going to do? Do you know how to enact a friendly first contact with extraterrestrials? Here are some things you need to know, even if you don’t believe in aliens (what if you are wrong?).
The Redeemer community is in shock this morning, after learning that the school’s Symphonia is being investigated for steroid use. Officials became suspicious after Redeemer’s music group gave their final performance, last Friday night.
SESAME WORKSHOP - Police are looking for Big Bird, the well known resident of Sesame Street, who has been missing for 48 hours. Though Big Bird has no known enemies, his neighbours suspect foul play.
Angry residents in Redeemer’s married apartments row are wondering what is it about warm weather that makes guys caterwaul outside while strumming on recently purchased guitars. Canadian literary critic Northrop Frye may have the answer.
As if there weren’t already enough ways to deliberately misinterpret the Bible, now there’s one more: the Personal Promise Bible (PPB). Produced by Phronesis International since 2005, the PPB promises customers: “you will read your first name personalized in…over 7,000 places throughout the complete Old and New Testaments.”
