(Fill-in-the-blank) Bible

As if there weren’t already enough ways to deliberately misinterpret the Bible, now there’s one more: the Personal Promise Bible (PPB). Produced by Phronesis International since 2005, the PPB promises customers: “you will read your first name personalized in…over 7,000 places throughout the complete Old and New Testaments.”

The technology behind the product is simple. It replaces some of the “you” words in Scripture with your first name, to reflect God’s personal promises to you. It can also insert the first name of your spouse as well. For example Prov. 18:22 can become: "When John found Barbara, he found a good thing, And John received favor from the Lord"(PPB).

Now, let’s say John got a copy of the PPB with his girlfriend’s name inserted in all the relevant areas. If their relationship should turn sour in six months time, is John in danger of being smited by God for no longer believing in His sacred, unchangeable Word?

For the low-low price of $129.00 USD, customers can buy their very own PPB (the complete Old and New Testaments). What makes it worth so little? According to the company’s website, they are able to offer reasonable prices by slashing production costs: each PPB “is printed on a state-of-the-art laser jet printer at a ‘satellite’ office which we have set up in the homes of several home-schooling moms of our church. Your printed Bible is then sent to a commercial bindery that specializes in Bibles. The result is a beautiful, personalized Bible that you or your loved one will enjoy for years.”

I even know someone who will be enjoying his own, lovingly-personalized copy.

Satan.

No, really. The PPB online software allows ANY name to be inserted into the text. I tried it out, and now 1 Cor. 3:9 says “Satan is one of God's fellow workers” (PPB). Rom. 8:37 declares: “Satan is more than a conqueror through Him who loved him” (PPB). Also, according to the titles that accompany each verse of the PPB, Satan is also “God’s son”, “a friend of Christ”, “God’s temple”, and a host of other blasphemous things.

This of course begs a few theological questions. If switching the name in the verse changes its meaning, how can we still claim to be reading God’s Word? What if someone opens your PPB and is offended that God has given you all the promises? Do they also insert your name into verses like Lk. 21:17: “All men will hate you because of me” (NIV)?

I wonder if the makers of this book have any difficulty translating the promises of Rev. 22:18-19: “I warn Personal Promise Bible who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If Personal Promise Bible adds anything to them, God will add to Personal Promise Bible the plagues described in this book. And if Personal Promise Bible takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from Personal Promise Bible their share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.”

I’m sure it would make the company feel toasty warm to know that God is directing, personally, His wrath at them.

For all I know, it just might, as their homepage plays up the concept of making one’s relationship with God more intimate: “Have you ever inserted your name as you read the Bible to make it more personal? Now you can experience the reality of God's love and promises in a way you never thought possible.”

Indeed. I never would have imagined.

A Note to the Reader

I am aware that not everyone understands satire, and may be offended by what I’ve written. What you will find below is my rational for why I wrote the article.

In short, I am concerned with the tendency to want make God and His promises so personal, that we exclude others. It must be remembered that God so loved the world—and not just Peter or Susan or Greg.

Altering Scripture to suite our own needs is not merely a matter of reading a different translation. It can actually change the meaning of the text in ways that are misleading, exclusive, and relativistic.

I understand that some people may genuinely desire to make God’s Word more applicable by having their name inserted into the text, but it is not necessary. Hebrews 4:12 says “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (NIV). The Spirit of God will show us what we need to apply to our lives. Any arbitrary insertions on our own part is foolish and can cloud the true message God wants us to see.

The Crown reserves the right to edit or remove any comment that:

• is libelous, threatening, obscene, or constitutes hate speech
• directly and deliberately insults other posters
• is promotional or commercial in nature