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A letter to the Church
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010
Dear Church in North America,
I don’t know how to say this, so I may as well get it over with: I’m breaking up with you.
It was fun while it lasted. I really enjoyed all the activities: the singles groups, potlucks, and games nights. I liked some of the songs we sang too.
I’m going to miss the friends I made while hanging out with you. You’ve got a way of bringing a lot of cool people together. Remember the party you threw with “homeless” Ted? You welcomed him in, even when some of your guests didn’t want you to. Even I didn’t like him at first, but after awhile he started telling us crazy stories about aliens and then we laughed and decided he could hang out with us because he was so funny.
I’m also going to miss your spiritual advice. You had some good things to say about my life, even though sometimes the sermons you preached were boring, didn’t have enough jokes, and lacked multi-media awesomeness. Still, I am sure if I had actually listened, instead of imagining myself on a topless beach in Europe, I would be a happier person.
My dad told me once: “When you go out with Church, you are Church.” What he meant was that I should treat you like I wanted to be treated, because if we ever got married you and I would be sharing our life together, and we would essentially be the same person.
That’s really hard. That’s tough. You’re all about your family and if I’m honest, there are a lot of your brothers and sisters that I don’t like. Your brother Bill drives me crazy by pumping my hand every time I come to the door, saying things like, “How is your relationship with God doing?” And your sister Rachel, she dances in her seat and shouts “Hallelujah!” at the most inappropriate times and she likes weird music that I just can’t stand.
When it comes down to it, I’m afraid of commitment, because I don’t want you to change me. If this relationship gets any more serious, it might take up all my time and money. I might actually have to care about orphans and widows in distress and telling other people about faith and maybe tell other people to stop ragging on you. I might have to stop my secret drinking sessions and stop looking at porn and stop gossiping and stop hating people who annoy me. I might have give up my relaxing Saturday afternoons to watch kids or spare pocket change for a homeless man or lead a Bible study. I’m just not ready for that.
So, no hard feelings Church, but we’ve got to stop it here. No phone calls. No visits. We don’t need anything long and drawn out, because I don’t want to be guilted into thinking I’ve betrayed you or God. It’s nothing personal. I’m just not that into you. I’m kind of more into me.
Sincerely,
That guy
Author’s note:
This letter was inspired by the Eighth Letter Conference, which is taking place Oct. 1-2 in Toronto. People like Makoto Fujimura, Andy Crouch, Shane Claiborne, and many others will present their most pressing message to the Church in North America. For ticket costs and more information about Eighth Letter, please check out www.eighthletter.com.
I don’t know how to say this, so I may as well get it over with: I’m breaking up with you.
It was fun while it lasted. I really enjoyed all the activities: the singles groups, potlucks, and games nights. I liked some of the songs we sang too.
I’m going to miss the friends I made while hanging out with you. You’ve got a way of bringing a lot of cool people together. Remember the party you threw with “homeless” Ted? You welcomed him in, even when some of your guests didn’t want you to. Even I didn’t like him at first, but after awhile he started telling us crazy stories about aliens and then we laughed and decided he could hang out with us because he was so funny.
I’m also going to miss your spiritual advice. You had some good things to say about my life, even though sometimes the sermons you preached were boring, didn’t have enough jokes, and lacked multi-media awesomeness. Still, I am sure if I had actually listened, instead of imagining myself on a topless beach in Europe, I would be a happier person.
My dad told me once: “When you go out with Church, you are Church.” What he meant was that I should treat you like I wanted to be treated, because if we ever got married you and I would be sharing our life together, and we would essentially be the same person.
That’s really hard. That’s tough. You’re all about your family and if I’m honest, there are a lot of your brothers and sisters that I don’t like. Your brother Bill drives me crazy by pumping my hand every time I come to the door, saying things like, “How is your relationship with God doing?” And your sister Rachel, she dances in her seat and shouts “Hallelujah!” at the most inappropriate times and she likes weird music that I just can’t stand.
When it comes down to it, I’m afraid of commitment, because I don’t want you to change me. If this relationship gets any more serious, it might take up all my time and money. I might actually have to care about orphans and widows in distress and telling other people about faith and maybe tell other people to stop ragging on you. I might have to stop my secret drinking sessions and stop looking at porn and stop gossiping and stop hating people who annoy me. I might have give up my relaxing Saturday afternoons to watch kids or spare pocket change for a homeless man or lead a Bible study. I’m just not ready for that.
So, no hard feelings Church, but we’ve got to stop it here. No phone calls. No visits. We don’t need anything long and drawn out, because I don’t want to be guilted into thinking I’ve betrayed you or God. It’s nothing personal. I’m just not that into you. I’m kind of more into me.
Sincerely,
That guy
Author’s note:
This letter was inspired by the Eighth Letter Conference, which is taking place Oct. 1-2 in Toronto. People like Makoto Fujimura, Andy Crouch, Shane Claiborne, and many others will present their most pressing message to the Church in North America. For ticket costs and more information about Eighth Letter, please check out www.eighthletter.com.
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